Recycled Stories – NO MORE – Free Yourself
Recycled Stories – NO MORE – Free Yourself
February 21, 2018
‘We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us’ ~ Joseph Campbell
I often hear from my clients that “My life is life groundhog day: the same day in and day out.
It is not how I thought my life would be.”
The stories I hear, over and over again are the same and recycled.
‘I am stuck - I feel frustrated - I have depressing thoughts’
These repetitive stories are similar, only dressed slightly differently for each person, in the shape of: No money, ill health, overweight, physical complaints, shitty and or no relationships.
My observation is that we may be aware of our moaning and groaning about our lives, but we are unaware of how we truly feel about the state of how we live our lives, and how we are numbing ourselves out for self-preservation.
Instead of looking deeper into why we moan and groan and why struggle to change our lives for the better, we self-medicate to mask our pain and discomfort with alcohol, drugs – prescriptive or illegal, food (either over indulge or starve ourselves), sex, work, people and business, to name a few.
We are in denial that we have anything to do with the life we are living and the stories we are telling ourselves and others.
We feel deep shame as subconsciously we know we are responsible for the state or our lives and we neglect the beauty and magnificence that we are as human beings.
Our habitual ways of living are driving and controlling our lives, and we live as the victim of our circumstance.
Using language like ’It’s not my fault, poor me, I’m not…(fill in the blank)… enough, I’ve tried everything, if only this happened, if only they did that…’
We find the vicious downward cycle picks up pace until one of two things happens: we either hit the bottom of that ‘Shit Pit’ or we decide to intervene before the frustration, pain and struggle spirals out of control.
How can we deal with this? The answer is simple but difficult to recognise and act upon.
Counteract denial with acceptance: Be honest with yourself about the state your life is in when you look at head on. Replace shame with self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you would your loved one who came to you is despair.
Substitute neglect with self-care: Acts of love for self. Self-care is self-fulfilling. It promotes good feeling that fuels and forms loving actions and habits and more self-care.
How we choose to care for ourselves looks different from person to person and is so much more than a long hot bath or a walk in the woods.
After we have accepted ourselves and given ourselves a big hug, we ask ourselves two questions:
What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?
And what’s the lesson I am supposed to learn here?
Often the acts of self-care we need to practice are basic such as:
Surrender (choose to hand over control to a power greater than yourself),
Making a realistic evaluation of what we can control,
Escape the victim mentality, and deal with all feelings,
Taking what we want and need seriously (valuing yourself),
Setting boundaries, making choices and taking responsibility for them,
Setting goals, getting honest, letting go
Giving ourselves huge doses of love and nurturing.
Sometimes the lesson could simply be to teach us gratitude. - Gratitude changes everything ~ plain and simple.
We can and will find ourselves stepping off our road of recovery now and then. It is human nature to feel the ebb and flow within, and our lives will represent this.
The key is to recognise when this happens and to not beat ourselves up for the natural flow of life to affect our lives.
The danger is we can feel like we have come back to square one when that’s not possible as life is an endless cycle of experiences that we can only learn from and our growth comes from applying those lessons to move ourselves and our lives forwards in a positive direction.
Accepting that it is the Law of Rhythm and these rhythms cause the cycles and patterns of life.
By remembering that the pendulum always swings back, we can view the events in our lives in a more balanced way.
Creating healthy plans and routines for our days, surrounding ourselves with well and loving people, making time and space for stilling the mind and body to cultivate positive thoughts and feelings and of course having fun along the way are the best ways to nurture, affirm, empower and love ourselves to replace our damaging and repetitive stories to feel free in body, mind and soul.
‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, BUT TO THRIVE; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style.” Maya Angelou