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Is Love Enough?

Love.  

Is it a feeling?
Is it a thing?
Where does it come from?

So many questions and we each have so many views. What we know is that it doesn’t die. It lives. It is the fabric of reality, the glue between everything, the very pulse of the Universe.

It heals, it brings all the very best experiences in life.

Everything is Love

You, me, the birds, the bees, the mountains, the valleys, the ocean.

When it comes to our intimate relationship, Love is the foundation of partnership. It’s everything, right?

Yet how many relationships actually survive just on Love? Not many if you are totally honest: and I would question those who insist otherwise.

Many friends and people I have coached in relationship dynamics, and myself included, have realised that to stay together through thick and thin, Love isn’t enough. It requires a balance of many things.

Would you do anything for Love? If so, eventually it will hurt and may just see you sacrificing your heart and soul.  And to that I would say, Need is in the driving seat, not Love.

How many times have you been in the pub or sat with a group of mates where the hot topic is a relationship break-up and your friend lists all the reasons why it didn’t work with her/his partner, which often have nothing to do with Love?

So Love wasn’t enough then?


My last relationship was full to the brim with Love. I felt loved 100% and I loved him fully and dearly but Love wasn’t enough. There were fundamental differences in intimacy, that all important chemistry, and our financial ideas about the future were not at all aligned.

These were the things that separated us even though for six years I enjoyed a beautiful conscious relationship where we spoke about everything; no subject was swept under the carpet. We talked about our relationship on video and in public. We shared our loving and ease with others.

We were the ideal couple. In fact many people were totally amazed at the news of our separation.

After it happened, I was heart-broken but I knew it was the right decision.

And after all this time,  after the agony of separation, the messiness and the healing I still love him very much. He was pivotal in my portfolio of Love. He changed the very fabric of how I was in relationship and I owe him a great deal.

Call it whatever you will the greatest act of unconditional love was to let each other go so that we could find a relationship that was right for each of us.  Love wasn’t enough to keep us together, but as you see, Love doesn’t die.

Recognising the signs

Balance is the thing that powers the Universe and  anytime there is a strong polarity, we are out of balance. Love too much and it hurts, Love too little and there is no fulfilment.
Balance is about optimum flow. 
That is why:

  1. If you are in a relationship now and it is not working, be totally honest with yourself first. Until you get fully in your truth, which by the way is always nudging at you, you can’t allow what needs to happen.

  2. Maybe you are someone who loves too much at the expense of your well-being. This will produce needy behaviours and will probably make your partner very uncomfortable. This isn’t Love but Need. It becomes a bottomless pit of giving for you with massive expectation of receiving it and really nothing cures it until you get to the bottom of why you are feeling this way. It isn’t anything to do with your partner but about your past, your parenting, your life experience. Please do go get help.

  3. Maybe you love and adore your partner but your mix of chemistry just isn’t working. Maybe you don’t, and never have had that certain something that for me is critical in the vitality of the relationship.

  4. You may have fundamental differences on sex, money, lifestyle and no matter how much you discuss things, you both just have a different path. To me this is Life calling you both in different directions, and NO MATTER what you do, you just cannot mess with this one. (I have been there several times.)

  5. You are maybe just playing safe and thinking of yourself and your needs in the relationship but you are causing your partner pain and heartache because you are not being honest to either of you. 


I am sure, because of the uniqueness of each one of us, there are many more reasons but no-one said you had to put up with, or adapt yourself and even prostitute your heart for Love.

And here’s the thing: Love is; it just is.

Love is not here one minute and then not. It may feel like that, but it is only you - either connecting to it or disconnecting from it when you are triggered or in pain.

Love is not withdrawn from you or given to you from another.  It is in you from your first to your last breath.

Your relationship to Love is everything. You either let it in or hold it at a distance and that is your struggle.  It is that simple.

Gina Hardy

Gina Hardy

Yoga Teacher


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